Sorry, ICM Registry — Manwin’s Just Not That Into You

03 Dec

Look, ICM Registry… Stuart… I know I’ve said some harsh things about you in the past… and I’ve meant them. Still do, actually, but I also feel compelled to give you some advice.

I know I am not currently richer than my wildest dreams of avarice (which are pretty wild) and I’ve neither conquered Tokyo nor saved the earth from flying saucers, but I’ve got some experience with sex, relationships, and the adult entertainment industry. My ability to articulate that experience in an entertaining yet informative manner is one of the reasons “they” pay me the Big Bucks.

Plus, whether you or I or anyone else likes it or not, you are now a member of the adult entertainment industry. Your character, such as it is, will forever bear the sweet perfume of pornography. As someone who’s been around many of the blocks you’re hoping to rent space to in your magical porn site resort/retirement center/whatever, I feel compelled to help the New Kid out at least a little bit.

As sad as I know we both must feel about it, I’m not likely to run into you in a pub anytime soon, thus being unable to hash things out with you over liquor or hops, and then drunkenly become BFFs. Because of this great tragedy, I’m going to offer you some relationship advice here on this website, which I know you’re at least passing aware exists.

Here it is:

You need to get over Manwin. Seriously. I don’t know what kind of hanky panky you two may have gotten into before, but it looks like you’re not going to be passing each other in the hall and nodding knowingly anytime soon. Not if you can avoid it. Not without witnesses and/or cameras. Manwin is just not that into you.

There are lots of us who don’t plan to invest in your Sherman Antitrust Act legal challenge in the making. Some of us own a lot of web properties and some of us only own a few. Some of us have gotten our virtual .XXX tubes tied in order to make sure there are no little us’s running around in your gated community. We have reputations to protect, after all. Some of us are hoping we can whistle past the .XXX graveyard without incident.

But Manwin? Yeah, Manwin doesn’t like you and doesn’t care who knows. If this were the ancient past, your name would be erased from the pyramids. If this were the Soviet Union, your image would disappear from photos. If this were a meat world relationship, you’d have been served with a restraining order.

Instead, it’s just business. You know how it is.

Actually, according to a press release the company distributed on Friday, it’s not business… or at least not doing business… with you or yours.

There’s a certain poetic beauty to this situation. On multiple levels. It’s like a karmic legal haiku. With boobs. But for the situation at hand, the poetic beauty lies with the fact that the tenants of the exclusive porn “resort” that ICM Registry promises to be, were likely hoping to do trade with the outside virtual world, if for no other reason than to generate some upsell traffic, especially early in the TLD launch process.

Tube sites, as the actual adult industry knows, can be a scourge and a blessing, depending on which side of the law they decide to operate on. When they wear white hats, they can be a gateway to new members for the production companies and individuals featured in their collection.

But .XXX is going to be a goldmine for everyone who buys land there. Who needs access to a network that has 60 million users passing through it daily? That’s going to be chickenfeed compared to the flying cars and robot slaves that members of the hyperspace exclusive “resort” community will find awaiting them.

After all, it’s about protecting children, right? That is why it’s a good thing for everyone that there won’t be any Manwin content on .XXX and there won’t be any .XXX content on Manwin’s sites. If it were otherwise, there would be just that much more porn on the internet and just that much more competition for precious resources.

It’s better this way. For everyone. For the children.

Besides, it’s going to happen a lot, so you might want to plan accordingly.

– Darklady

Manwin Permanently Bans All Business With .XXX TLD

LUXEMBOURG — In addition to the lawsuit filed on November 16, 2011, Manwin has determined to cease any and all internet liaisons with the .XXX Top Level Domain.

As of today, Manwin has banned all activities between its brands and internet sites registered with a .XXX TLD.

“We oppose the .XXX domain and all it stands for,” said Fabian Thylmann, managing partner of Manwin. “It is my opinion that .XXX domain is an anticompetitive business practice that works a disservice to all companies that do business on the internet.”

“The lawsuit was just the beginning,” added Thylmann. “Through this ban, we hope to make a strong statement against the .XXX domain.”

Manwin will no longer permit content from or advertising for .XXX websites on its Tube sites.

In addition, Manwin will not permit its content to be used or advertised on .XXX websites. This will prevent ICM or .XXX from exploiting the 60 million daily visitors to Manwin’s network sites.

By permanently blocking the .XXX domain, Manwin hopes to send a clear message that it does not support ICM or .XXX.

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